a bad day

ImageRachel, after a really tough day

On my way home tonight I called Ratchet and asked “can you look online, at that new restaurant up the street,  yeah that one, look at the menu online and see if there might be something we can eat? I need this,” I said.

I need this.

Today, I lost my breakfast after my workout. I lost a relationship with someone I love dearly. I lost my temper and my mind. And all of this, I lost before noon.

So far in this decision to change my life and body I have had mostly “win” days. Fewer pounds, HUGE encouragement, support support support on all sides. Today, life just handed me a wallop of whoop ass and at the end of the day my body screamed “feed me!” It wasn’t asking for brown rice and lean turkey. It wanted a big glass of lovely and red, paired with something warm, melty & cheesey, dripping with some sauce or another. Hell, it wanted pie, a gigantic piece of pie.

Ratchet broke the news “No, there is nothing we can have there. Not yet.” Ugh, a crushing blow. I actually felt the “no” in all of my body, it ached, burned.

B  R  E  A  T  H  E  and …

I am an emotional eater. Today was made for excuses and “rewards.” It’s the first one I’ve had and I am sure not my last. So I came home, grabbed some white fish, lemon and salad greens and gave thanks for my beloved, for my team of cheerleaders and friends, and for me. Turns out this was a win day. I said no—with help—and I learned that I can do this.

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10 thoughts on “a bad day

  1. Hang in there, honey! You are amazing–I admire what you’re doing and wish I had the courage and strength that you had to make changes in your life! Think of all the challenges you’ve had in your life. You can do this, lady!

  2. I’m sad to hear about your bad day, dear Rachel, but you *rock*. You are totally killing this health thing. I’ve never had that kind of willpower.

    I almost lost a relationship with someone I love dearly this week. After a lot of pain and hard work (just the beginning), I think that’s not going to happen. My heart breaks for you, dear friend. But you are my hero.

  3. The last line choked my up a little. In a journey such as yours, one of the hardest things to figure out is that you can actually do it. Bad days will happen and you will slip up, but you know you can pick yourself up and move forward. That is half the battle right there.

  4. Pingback: A Bad Day « MyBlissPoint

  5. This is what makes you stronger. When you have a bad day and can stick with it. I’m glad you two have each other. And remember, the Forté family is here to support you. You are inspiring so many people, you have to be strong!

  6. Thanks friends. The next day, as it often is, was much better. Every day a little step, a small win. I love each of you. (And welcome MyBlissPoint! Nice to meet you.)

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