Ratchet’s Thoughts So Far

Ratchet chiming in

I’m joining Rachel in blogging about our adventure with personal training and fitness. Here are a bunch of thoughts I have while I’m working out, before I work out, and after I work out.

First things first: I haven’t worked out since 1992 at the latest. It may have been longer than that, since that’s the last year I played rugby, and rugby didn’t demand much fitness from me. It did demand a high tolerance for keg beer, traveling in very small cars with too many people, and some very late nights.

Every time we go to work out, we learn some new way to build and stress our muscles: whacking a tractor tire with sledge hammers, hitting each other’s hands with boxing gloves, dragging our legs across the floor with our hands and shoulders, pushing sandbags around, lunges, side lunges, and squats squats squats. Also, some old gym class favorites: jumping jacks, running in place, jumping rope, push ups, leg lifts, and crunches. The first two sessions I found myself saying “I can’t …,” first inside my head and then out loud. After one tough session I made a decision to change that to “I can.” One day, while getting down on my butt to do some crunches while lifting a medicine ball, my brain prepared to say, “Ohhhhh, I hate these!” But out of my mouth came, “Ohhhhh, these are good for me.” Weird.

The gym has mirrors like most gyms and sometimes I’m surprised by what I see myself doing. In my mind’s eye, my feet and legs are moving rhythmically doing jumping jacks or some other fancy step, but in the mirror some weird, uncoordinated woman is trying desperately to just keep moving. Not so graceful. But I like her, that woman in the mirror. I looked at myself and knew that I will be happier thinner and fitter, but I don’t dislike what I see. Although I have some kind of body image issue like everyone else, I’m pretty happy with my healthy self-esteem that allows me to still like that red-faced, uncoordinated, trying-hard woman whose legs and arms are flapping around.

Ever the optimist, I know that anything I do is one more step forward and a little bit better than last time. I can feel myself getting stronger and building balance and stamina. That, along with the fairly quick weight loss and pants that suddenly fit better, is very motivating!

Lastly, I know the special food treat I’m most looking forward to when it’s time for a treat: The white anchovy and avocado¬†bruschetta from Bar La Grassa. Ohhhhh, that’s gonna be good for me! Go get yourself some of that while you read on.

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5 thoughts on “Ratchet’s Thoughts So Far

  1. Ratchet! I loved this post. It’s so nice to hear you thinking positively about the process. I’m going through similar stuff. Feeling the heaviness and effort required to get moving again. And being happy with where I’m at today, what I can do today, no matter how small it may seem in my mind. Thanks for the post! (Also, that bruschetta looks yummy.)

  2. Ratchet, I am so impressed by your dedication, determination, and ability to take this so seriously while simultaneously being light-hearted when the woman in the mirror struggles from time to time. I am so excited to follow your journey from my front-row seat! So proud of you and Rachel. :)

  3. The best bit of this whole piece: This woman in the mirror, I like her.
    I’ve always liked that woman and I LOVE and admire her writing. Missed this old friend…the writing, and of course, the woman.

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