Ladies—especially you who don’t love what you look like—will you pull your drivers licence for me for a second? What does your drivers licence look like? Pay attention to the picture and the weight in particular.
Recently I’ve heard that most women embellish their IDs, something I thought was my own dirty little secret. In most things in life—money and time—I tend to round up, but not when it comes to my ID. Oh noooooo no no; here I round down, and by a fairly “healthy” margin too.
I think this fudging as my grandma Lu would call it started back when I was 15. I was trying to get into a 16+ teen nightclub. I borrowed a fake from someone I looked nothing like, my BFFs older sister. I memorized the information that would be presented to the bouncer: what age and astrological sign I was, where I lived and what kind of landmarks were in my neighborhood, where I went to school and on and on. I prepped and practiced my tale I would have to blurt out cool as a cucumber when confronted.
I have all my drivers licences I have ever been issued. I keep them in a little music box my mom gave to me when I was 16. I pull them out every once in a while to see where I have been both in weight and look, which is funny, because I know neither is portrayed accurately back as far as I can remember. But today, all that changed.
Today, I weigh what I told the DMV I weigh. What is the difference between 238 and 210? Well lets just say it is a lot more than 28 pounds.