Ratchet: right after taking “after” photographs.
I look at my before pictures and I wonder how I couldn’t see what I looked like then. I knew I was overweight for my height and my frame, but having the extremely optimistic and healthy self-image that I do, my eyes still saw a person with whom I was fairly happy: I liked my clothes and the way I wore them. I was happy and I was loved. Not so bad.
Now that I’ve slimmed down–details on that to come with the after pictures–I’m even happier, of course. I shouldn’t be surprised to see what I looked like a short six months ago; but as a friend and I discussed this morning, the new me I see now gets superimposed on all my memories so I don’t feel I look that different–until I see the before pictures to remind me.
Well, before-Ratchet, I still love you. And Rachel assures me she loved me then exactly as I was, too. Friends have said, “I never thought of you as big …” That’s all really quite awesome because it makes me feel truly loved and known for who I am, not how I look! But, before-Ratchet, make no mistake: I like new after-Ratchet better!